Mighty Morphin #1.58 – Football Season

I’m sorry, there are sports in this show that aren’t martial arts?

As indicated by the title, it’s football season at Angel Grove High, and Jason is striding down the halls of the high school carrying a football, because what he needs are more extracurriculars.

He asks Tommy if he’s planning on trying out. Tommy is, but he’s worried about making the cut, which is ridiculous, because he has the speed and strength to fight a squad of Putties unmorphed, so even if he can’t handle the ball worth a damn, the team will at least stick him in at safety and let him take out opposing players left and right.

Bulk and Skull are also trying out for the team, which really doesn’t seem like something that would be up their alley, but given 90% of their alley is copying whatever the Rangers do and tormenting them the whole time, I suppose it makes a certain amount of sense.

The two decide the hallway is the perfect place to practice tackling, so naturally Principal Caplan gets in the way at the last second, only to be pile-driven by Bulk.

Caplan assigns them each a week in detention, which seems rather light to me, but Tommy takes the whole ordeal as evidence that even Bulk has more experience than he does. Jason tells him to put as much effort into his football skills as he does his karate, and then he’ll be a shoo-in for the team.

On the moon, Squatt and Baboo are excited by the idea of football, but Rita is lukewarm on the whole ordeal. When Goldar tells her about her new monster the Rhino-Blaster, though, she perks up and declares that she wants a “smash-down.”

Squatt: You mean touchdown?

Rita: Whatever.

At the Juice Bar, Tommy is still stressing over his chances. Kimberly and Trini arrive and ask him what’s wrong; when he explains, Kim points out that he’s a natural athlete, but he replies that he’s never played before. After all, he spent most of his life training in karate. Trini makes the argument that this, in itself, is quite the achievement, but Ernie interrupts to say that he might be able to help.

Tommy all but jumps out of his chair when Ernie explains that he was an all-star fullback in college. Tommy asks if he would help him train, and Ernie assents.

Bulk strides in wearing a tutu and feeling grouchy about it. Skull, reading from a book called How to Play Football, assures him that “many pro football players study ballet for grace and agility.” Ernie chimes in from the back to concur, and Bulk begrudgingly goes along with it:

“Well, maybe so. But if I hear one ‘twinkle-toe’ remark, I’m gonna cream you with my tutu.”

Kimberly and Trini are headed to the park to play flag football with the others, and Kimberly offers Tommy the opportunity to come along and get some practice in, but Tommy turns them down for the chance to get some pointers from Ernie instead.

We cut to Ernie running Tommy through football drills instead of running his damn restaurant. Tommy has the push-ups down, obviously, but somehow can’t nail the footwork despite martial arts requiring incredibly precise footwork.

Kimberly and Trini meet up with the boys at the park and start their game of flag football, which is one of the most genuinely enjoyable scenes I’ve watched thus far in this show. Everyone is clearly having a blast and the whole thing is free of any kind of superhero responsibilities. Just teenagers being teenagers.

At the Juice Bar, Tommy is still struggling with instinctively going into martial arts moves rather than football ones. For instance, he delivers a flying kick to the practice dummy rather than tackling it. Which would certainly make for a different sporting experience for the fans.

Tommy is more doubtful than ever of his chances, but Ernie encourages him to keep trying. Bulk and Skull, meanwhile, are now in detention practicing ballet.

This leads to an absolutely spectacular montage of the two prancing around the room attempting to make Bulk into a prima ballerina.

The flag football game continues to go well, and we learn that apparently Jason and Zack can jump to positively absurd heights.

Putties swarm the game and steal the ball in the process, grabbing Billy and tossing him away in what once would have been a show of his weakness, but instead turns into an opportunity to display his newfound fighting prowess, as he does three back handsprings in a row and delivers a blistering gut punch and elbow smash to two nearby Putties.

I know I’ve said this about other scenes, but this is easily takes the cake as the best fight sequence in the show thus far. The fight choreography, the music, the energy, the fact that Kimberly does a back handspring into a split leap to celebrate at the end…it’s electric. I had to watch it a lot to get various screen captures, and I didn’t mind a single time.

Zordon pages the team and they teleport to the Command Center, making sure to throw their flags to the ground before doing so. Which seems kind of like littering?

The floating tube head briefs the teens on the situation, and surprisingly, it’s Billy who chimes in first with confidence:

“I believe our team is stronger, Zordon.”

Jason agrees, and it’s morphing time!

The Rhino-Blaster summons a squad of Putties to its side, and the foot soldiers are all dressed in football uniforms to ensure I am entirely unable to take this episode seriously.

The Rangers are overwhelmed almost immediately, and the Rhino-Blaster summons a tornado to teleport them to an alternate dimension. As random as this may sound, the fight still flows so much more smoothly than early-season morphed battles — likely because the editors seem to be using more Sentai footage in its entirety rather than slicing it to bits.

Alpha gets an alert on the situation, and Zordon confirms that his “worst fear” has occurred:

“Rita’s monster has banished the Rangers to the multidimensional vortex. Neither their communicators nor their teleporters will function while they are trapped.”

Zordon tells a panicking Alpha to cool his jets and focus on a work-around for the teleportation issue. He also instructs him to contact Tommy, who may be their “only hope.”

Unfortunately for the team, the writers are up to their old tricks again, as Tommy has left his communicator in his gym bag (why would you ever??? It’s a watch for a reason???) while he trains with Ernie.

Fortunately for the team, Ernie gets called away by…another Juice Bar employee???????????????????????? shouting that he has a phone call. It could be a patron, but the voice definitely sounds adult.

Tommy hops off the exercise bike, and without its noise or Ernie’s voice in his ear, he’s able to hear his communicator pinging the second time around. He ducks into an unoccupied corner and teleports straight to the Command Center.

Zordon reminds him that his power is limited, but says that the Rangers need him. Tommy sets the stage for future sixth Rangers in many ways, but perhaps none more so than this storyline.

Zordon advises him to be cautious, and Tommy says “Let the power protect me” because he can do his own well-wishes, gosh darn it, before morphing and teleporting to the Rhino-Blaster.

Tommy instantly wipes the floor with all Putties present; understanding the Green Ranger’s capabilities better than most, Rita’s concerned enough to make her monster grow straightaway.

Tommy summons the Dragon Zord, and the Zord battle goes about how most of them do. At one point, the Rhino-Blaster strikes the Dragon Zord’s chest, and Tommy howls:

“Hey, cheap shot! Flag on the play! Fifteen yard penalty!”

Back at the Command Center, Alpha delivers some upsetting news:

“There is no other way! Green Ranger must use his Dragon Dagger to free the other Rangers. However, if he fails, the dagger will be lost forever, and so will the Rangers!”

Zordon conveys this to Tommy, explaining that he must “throw the Dragon Dagger into the multidimensional mist. If the Rangers can reach it, they may be able to free themselves.”

Tommy is quick to come up with a plan, which isn’t bad as far as this show goes. He calls off the Dragon Zord and confesses to the Rhino-Blaster that he’s no match for it. After receiving a laser blast from the monster, Tommy pleads it to allow him to spend his last moments in the company of his friends.

This is where things get confusing. The Rhino-Blaster seems to consider the request for a moment, but then denies it, only to start shooting the very mist that caused the tornado that sent the Rangers to the multidimensional vortex in the first place. So…I guess it was going to reunite them after all?

Regardless, Tommy interrupts this attempt on his life by throwing the Dragon Dagger directly into the mist, which, as it turns out, leads directly into the monster’s mouth. He bellows, “Jason, catch!” and the Rhino-Blaster staggers back in surprise.

Without any confirmation whatsoever that the plan has worked or that Jason has made contact with the dagger, Tommy announces:

“Looks like it was right on target! I guess I can do it!”

We continue to get zero indication that the other Rangers are safe as the Zord battle resumes, so I guess we’re just supposed to take Tommy’s word for it. In the closest thing we’ve had to exploring the Tommy’s-limited-powers storyline, the Dragon Zord takes a nasty hit and the Green Ranger cries out:

“I’m losing power! Zordon, I’m going down!”

Tommy remarks on how he “can’t do this alone,” and luckily for him, that cues the other Rangers to burst forth from the multidimensional vortex…in the Megazord???????????

The Megazord boomerangs the Dragon Dagger back to Tommy (so we’re really not going to get any explanation on how that helped them escape, huh?), who uses it to bring the Dragon Zord back to its feet (via footage reversal, naturally).

Jason calls for the formation of the Mega Dragon Zord, which makes quick work of the Rhino-Blaster because we’ve got plot lines to tie up.

We catch up with said plot lines back at the Juice Bar, where Caplan is randomly announcing the results of the football team tryouts because there are exactly three adults in all of Angel Grove. We see him drop a piece of paper that says “Tommy — Quarterback” on it, which I’m sure won’t lead to any misunderstandings.

The football team consists of Jason, Zack, Billy (why the hell would he try out for football?), exactly six other randos, and — once Zack spots the piece of paper Caplan dropped — Bulk and Tommy. Because that’s enough people to field an entire football team.

As noted by the paper, Tommy is, in fact, Angel Grove’s new starting quarterback. That’s definitely a role that would go to someone who had never played the sport before.

Tommy goes up to Ernie to thank him for his help in making the team, and after Ernie tells him he earned it, the other Rangers swarm him with excitement. Zack even declares his naming to the team to be “morphenomenal news.”

Tommy reflects that he really hadn’t thought he could do it, and oh my god I just got the “I guess I can do it” line from earlier. Jason confirms this by saying:

“Hey, after you play football against Rita, you can play against any team.”